Thursday, May 11, 2006

They called him Milato

Evidently, Dumb John, this Grizzly Bear, was all drunk up in the artic and wandering around a strange town. He came into the view of Big Marge, a Polar Bear, who had trouble getting a mate because she was so fat. Well, put desperate female with drunk male together and you’re bound to get something interesting out of it, and it looks like that’s just what Mother Nature did.

There were a few guys out in the Artic doing, you know, man stuff when they saw a unique site, a bear unlike any they’ve seen before. So what did they do? They killed it of course, duh. Turns out, thanks to DNA testing, the mother was a Polar Bear and the father a Grizzly Bear. While Dumb John and Big Marge couldn’t be reached for comment as of press time, most believe this unusual bear to be the offspring of the two. Scientists immediately named the dead bear “Milato” and said it looks to have been caused by a case of Artic Fever. The scientists were then shot and killed by two NSA agents posing as Eskimo’s for trying to be, as one NSA agent put it, “Whitty.”

You can read the whole story here, which isn’t fake:

My commentary on the other hand is fake. As a matter of fact, you imagined reading this all together.



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