Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Hilarity from my father!

Compliments of my pops:

President Bush was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation last weekend in Arizona. He spoke for almost an hour on his future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living. He referred to his career as Governor of Texas, how he had signed "YES" 1,237 times - for every Indian issue that came to his desk for approval. Although the President was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his "red brothers".

At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the President with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle. The proud President then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds. A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they come to select the new name given to the President.They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.


Thursday, April 07, 2005

Hot off the press!

Today I stood in front of the Supreme Court and collected more than 1 million petitions from people all across America. Standing there, I heard your voices urging the Senate to reject any attempt to do away with the system of checks and balances our founding fathers created to protect the rights and voices of all Americans.

I want to say thank you for standing up and lending your voice to this debate.

Republicans want to go "nuclear" and turn the Senate into a rubber stamp for President Bush. They want to silence Senate Democrats -- the one remaining check on President Bush's power. If they can do away with debate in the Senate, they can get whatever they want -- right-wing Supreme Court Justices, Social Security privatization, and tax breaks for the wealthy that will plunge us deeper in debt.

But Senate Democrats are going to fight them every step of the way. And this fight will be different than any other fight in the history of the Senate -- because it will include you.

The Republicans are arrogant with power. If they don't like the rules, they break them. If they don't like someone standing in their way, they attack them. We have some Republicans in the Senate that are considering throwing out 200 years of Senate history in order to pack the courts with right wing judges. And we have a Republican Leader in the House of Representatives who attacks judges who don't agree with him and corrupts our government by running roughshod over the ethics committee.

It's a complete abuse of power by the Republicans and if they can get away with this on judges, they will get away with this on legislation like Social Security too. There is no distinction.

This is about more than a few unqualified judges, this is about protecting the rights of disabled Americans to work, the rights of minorities to vote, the rights of every American to have clean air, safe drinking water and be heard in Washington.

Thank you,
Harry Reid

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Today's Quote from President W

"We can come together to heal whatever wounds may exist, whatever residuals there may be."
--Washington, D.C.; December 18, 2000

Hot off the press!

Senate Republicans are going for the ultimate power grab. They're going to give themselves absolute power, silencing Senate Democrats (and the millions of Americans they represent) by changing the rules and traditions of the Senate.

No more debate. No more dissent. No more checks and balances. Nothing stopping the Republicans from ramming the Bush agenda through.

There is no issue more urgent than this one. And we need you to take action right now.

This Wednesday, the Democratic Party and allied organizations will present more than 1 million petition signatures to Senate Democrats as a sign of support and public opposition to the Republican power grab. You must sign our petition today if you want your name presented to our leaders in the Senate:


This is what we risk. By silencing Democrats on the Senate floor, Republicans will easily approve all of President Bush's extreme right-wing judicial nominees, giving them lifetime appointments to the federal bench -- no matter what their records look like. This puts all of our values we hold dear -- civil liberties, voting rights, a woman's right to choose, education, environmental protections -- at grave risk.

The whole Republican agenda will become the law of the land because the GOP will have silenced all effective opposition.

You must take action today. Join the fight and tell our Senate leaders you stand with them in their fight to protect free speech and the checks and balances that make our democracy strong.


Friday, April 01, 2005

Words from our President

This is my favorite Bushism ever. I don't think any will ever beat it. Here is W, standing in front of a big crowd, working it. He's on a real roll. Got that shit eating grin on his face and everything. Then he decides to shoot from the hip, go on a bit of a tangent from what is in front of him on the teleprompter, and it all went a little bit like this:

"There's an old saying in Tennessee--I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee--that says, fool me once, shame on (pause)--shame on you. Fool me (another pause)--you can't get fooled again."
--Nashville, Tennessee; September 17, 2002.

How the hell can you sit in a crowd and listen to this guy say something we've all heard since we were like eight, and screw it up and still vote for him? Jesus Christ, what is it with this guy? I mean, the only thing I can think of that would be worse is if he somehow managed to screw up the, "If your buddy jumped off a bridge would you?" line every kids hears from his Dad at one point or another.



18 Things We Learned From The Schiavo Case

1. Jeb Bush, George W. Bush, and Tom Delay are all world renowned neurologists.

2. 22 successive court battles that all ended in exactly the same way means there is something wrong with the courts, not the Schindler's case.

3. Michael Schiavo is after money which is why he turned down 1 million dollars and 10 million dollars to sign over guardianship.

4. Congress and the State Legislature of Florida has nothing better to do than pry into the private medical affairs of others.

5. Pulling life support is bad in Florida when authorized by the legal next-of-kin, but pulling life support is good in Texas when you run out of money and the mother pleads not to pull the plug on her baby.

6. Medical diagnoses are best performed by watching highly edited videotape made by Randall Terry rather than in person by trained physicians.

7. Minimum wage making nursing assistants are more qualified to diagnose a persistent vegetative state than experienced neurologists.

8. Cerebral spinal fluid is a magical potion that can mimic the entire functions of a missing cerebral cortex.

9. 15 years in the same persistent state is not really enough time to make an accurate diagnosis.

10. A feeding tube that infuses yellow nutritional goop is not really "life support".

11. Jesus was wrong when he said that a man and woman should leave their parents and cleave only to each other.

12. Marriage is the most sacred of all unions, except when it isn't.

13. Interfering in a family's private tragedy is a great reason to cut short a vacation, but getting a memo that warns a known terrorist is determined to strike inside the US is cause to relax and finish up some R&R.

14. Pro-lifers are really compassionate people, which is why they are hoping that Michael Schiavo dies a horrible, painful death.

15. The Supreme Court of the United States and the State Supreme Court of Florida mean "Maybe" when they are saying "No!".

16. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is a bleeding heart liberal.

17. 7 Supreme Court Justices were appointed by Republican Presidents, so it's obviously Clinton's fault.

18. A judge who makes rulings based on the law is obviously an atheist, liberal, democratic activist even though he is a Conservative,Republican, Southern Baptist.

-- rayder