Two Big Juggs Pass Away

Anna Nicole Smith died. Big deal. A woman who was best known for her large breasts and marrying an 89 year old billionaire for, ahem, "love" has passed on. She leaves behind a train wreck of a life, one dead adult child, and a baby who may never know who it's real father is.

Why should we care about her again?

Anna Nicole meant absolutely shit to this country. Yet we were fascinated by her. Well, some people were, I certainly wasn't. While I wouldn't say I'm glad that someone is dead, I am glad that now that she has passed on I won't have to see anything more about her in the news ever again.

She was annoying. She was fat. She was skinny. She was drunk. She was sober. She was pregnant. She wasn't pregnant. This woman even managed to somehow wind up in the Supreme Court. THE SUPREME COURT! JESUS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?

Sorry about that.

It's not Anna's fault. She's the victim here. She didn't ask for this "celebrity," she just reveled in it. She was a celebrity just for being a celebrity. Sort of like Paris Hilton, but heavier, and with a few kids and at least one soft core porn to her credit. Paris went straight for the hard core stuff.

Wow, how do I even close up a post like this? I shouldn't even have written it to begin with because even by covering it I'm acting like a hypocrite. Oh well, I guess you can't have your cake and eat it too. Or in Anna's case, eat two or three of them. Throw them up. Sign a weight loss deal, and somehow manage to make it into some sort of important event.

-Steve